The Reality Drain
by GreatOverseer
Summary: Randomness has spreaded throughout Robloxia. Can Builderman and Telamon do something about this wave of stupidity? Short story.


_Many reasons for why the planet of Robloxia is so random these days can be given, some true, some false. Maybe it's just because shit happens._

_The randomness hasn't gone unnoticed. In fact, Telamon has been tracking these eddies of weirdness all the way back. He is glued to his monitor screen, writing down the place, date, and time for each occurence. So far, no pattern has been spotted._

Telamon sat in his swivel chair, eyes glued to the monitor screen. His hair, after so many days and weeks of doing this, had become tangled and wiry. His eyes had dark shadows and bags; even the bags had little bags of their own. He grunted as an Epic Duck materialized over a post office and sent balls of fire into its windows, burning everything in sight.

Builderman entered.

"Hey," he said as a massive army of noobs poured in from the East and destroyed parts of the Vaktovian Outpost. "How's it hanging?"

"Nice," Telamon groaned. "But there haven't been any really major things going on." Behind him, in the top right miniscreen, a fighter jet ran into a squad of green, flying zombies and exploded right there, in midair.

"Looks major to me," Builderman said. "You think you're getting this outbreak?"

"Nope," Telamon slurred. He drifted off to sleep for a fraction of a second, then turned back to the monitor, where a large battlecruiser sunk into the void of space and was immediately swallowed by a miniature black hole, which winked in and out of existance in the blink of an eye.

"But, Telamon, it's really serious, some of these things!"

Telamon shrugged. "Serious hasn't found me yet." He took out a Bloxy Cola from his inventory bag and drank the whole thing. Some of the bags dissapeared. He straigntened up a little and continued fiddling with the monitor controls. One of the screens was of particular interest to him, it seemed. He zoomed it in to fill the entire thing.

It was a large, circular hole in the ground, with a rim of white metal. The hole seemed to go an infinite distance into the ground. Out of it there were floating ducks and noobs and flashing rainbow blocks.

"Damn," Builderman said. "I knew it was the Reality Drain." He grabbed Telamon and walked out of the office. A few High Officials who saw the two traveling in such an odd way (in Telamon's case at least) gave whispers of "Telamon's back!".

Builderman came to a red door, set into the wall. He opened the door and stepped into a huge room, made of blast-proof Superconcrete, and containing a solitary chest. Builderman opened the chest. Gases swirled from the walls, to make sure that whatever came out died of deletion. Finally, with some theatrical pulling, he came out with a mile-in-diameter bath plug, and, since the room was rigged to expand when someone took the plug out of the chest, the room did so, along with the door.

Builderman handed Telamon a jetpack, and strapped one on himself.

"C'mon," he ordered. "You're the only one that can successfully handle the Reality Drain. Therefore I need you." They both took off, Telamon a little drunkenly, and soon had arrived at the hole, situated twenty or so miles from the walls of New Robloxia, in the Render Desert. Here the aura of unreality was a billion times more strong than in the city itself.

Telamon, now completely energized by the speed of flight, set about priming the hole's edge for the plug's entrance. Builderman himself primed the plug, and did what he hadn't thought to do when Clockwork had created the plug some billions of years ago now. He set it on a lock. Nobody and nothing could pull it out. It was set in stone.

Telamon finished priming the hole's edge, and stood back. But just as he did, a shape rose out of the Reality Drain. It was huge. It was horrific. It was black and red, with curved horns coming out of its rounded head, and a snapping, deadly beak.

Funnily enough, it was the Devil Duck.

"Telamon," it cried, "do not do this, for I am all-poweful and can send an army of Epic Ducks to destroy you!" It's eyes blazed fiercely.

"Devil Duck," Builderman said, "we're shuttin' you in."

"Noooooooo," the evil overlord screamed. It flapped its stupid-looking wings inaffectually. It bellowed and squawked. It reared and bobbed. It clacked its beak in an aggressive manner, and called Builderman and Telamon all sorts of names. Builderman, getting tired of this, slammed the plug in, giving the Devil Duck a nasty concussion and driving it down forever.

"Thanks, Builderman," Telamon said. "He's really boring, so it's good to see him gone."

"You're welcome," Builderman replied as the noob army poured over a dune of sand, paused, piled into itself, and vanished in a puff of unreality. The blocks that were beforehand flashing in all sorts of eye-watering colors fell to the ground, their colors dulled to gray. The Epic Ducks retreated to the far corners of the planet, even though Robloxia was spherical and there were no corners.

The two founders flew back to their palace in New Robloxia, and spent a happy night with the other Admins, playing BaseWar and getting very drunk.

**Note: The Devil Duck has, or rather had, an IQ of about 20. The lowest a common Noob's IQ can get is 40.**


End file.
